Navigating the Holidays with Intention

A Guide to Boundaries, Gratitude, and Authentic Connection

The snow is falling outside my window, the house is decorated, and despite how fast this season arrived, I feel ready. But that readiness didn’t come from having everything perfectly planned or my gift list completed. It came from listening to a whisper that’s been getting louder lately… 

Boundaries.

The holidays demand so much of us. Everyone wants to see you, every event feels important, and if you’re anything like me, you want to be there for all of it. But here’s what I’ve learned—you can’t do everything and still be there for yourself. And if you’re not there for yourself first, you’re showing up everywhere else literally running on empty.

The Shift from Drifting to Intention

I used to approach the holidays mechanically. Get the gifts, wrap them, attend the events, bring the assigned dish, smile through it all. Rinse and repeat every year. Everything felt mundane, the same routine dressed up in festive wrapping paper.

Now? I’m intentional about every piece of it.

Instead of buying things just to check boxes, I give experiences. A nice restaurant gift card for a couple to actually spend time together. Tickets to something they’ve mentioned wanting to see. Because here’s the truth—most of the stuff we give ends up in the Goodwill box eventually. But memories? You never outgrow those.

This shift from drifting to intention changed everything. I stopped going through the motions and started asking myself what actually mattered. What brought me joy versus what brought me obligation. And that distinction is where the whispers started getting through.

When Your People Don’t Celebrate Your Wins

The holidays are reflection season. As we move toward the new year, we naturally start thinking about our direction, our relationships, and our growth. And sometimes, that reflection reveals something uncomfortable. And, that’s that not everyone in your life is genuinely happy about your wins.

I’ve noticed this myself lately. Since the book launched, some people I was close to have pulled away. There’s no drama, no big conflict. Just a quiet distance that speaks volumes. And I’ll be honest, that stings.

But I’ve also learned something essential: you have to be okay with it.

When people don’t support your growth, when they make you feel like you’re bragging for sharing your wins, when they go quiet instead of celebrating with you—that’s about them, not you. They have limiting beliefs about what’s possible, and when you start proving those beliefs wrong in your own life, it challenges their entire worldview.

So how do you get from not being okay with this to actually being okay with it?

Well, you work on your mindset. 

You get in your head and anchor yourself in who you are. You know your successes, you know your wins, and you accept that not everyone has to support them. And you change the subject if they start tearing you down. That way, you stay strong in who you are and keep moving forward.

Have compassion for their limiting beliefs, but don’t make them your own.

That’s the key right there. You can understand why someone might struggle to be happy for you. For example, maybe they don’t believe that kind of success is possible for them, so they can’t imagine it’s real for you either. But, that’s their projection. Their fear. And their limitation.

It doesn’t have to be yours.

If you are currently navigating a season of reflection and growth, my book Whispers Within Us dives deeper into recognizing these patterns and learning to trust your inner guidance.

Set Intention by Reverse Engineering Your Family Gatherings

Let’s talk about the family events. It’s okay to acknowledge you are looking forward to something, while simultaneously dreading it a little too. Maybe certain relatives bring up heated topics, where old wounds resurface, and you end up leaving feeling drained instead of filled up.

But how do you avoid that? 

Here’s what I do now: I meditate on it first.

I sit down, close my eyes, and visualize the entire gathering. But I start at the end. I think about, how do I want to leave? Peaceful? Content? Proud of how I showed up? Then from there I work backwards. If that’s how I want to leave, how do I need to show up? What topics do I need to steer clear of? What energy do I need to bring?

This is reverse engineering your experience, and it really works.

It not only helps you mentally prepare by setting your expectations, but it also reminds you how YOU need to show up. Reminding you to focus on dealing with that you can control – your intentions, your behaviour, and your responses. 

Then, if and when conversations do start going sideways, redirect. People love talking about themselves, so just ask about their pets, their plans for next year, positive things that happened this year. Keep it light and airy. Invite connection and allow people to surprise you! Don’t dive into politics, current events, or any topic that historically ends badly.

And if someone really isn’t receptive? Remember—you’re only there for a few hours. You can handle a few hours of graceful boundaries.

Setting Your Intention for the New Year Without the Pressure of a “New Year, New Me.”

It’s around the corner… 

Everyone’s about to start talking about New Year’s resolutions, and this year, I want to offer you a different approach because something I’ve noticed after many years of new years intentions is that goals often set us up for failure.

We all do it. We make these rigid declarations: “I’m going to lose twenty pounds”, “I’m going to save ten thousand dollars”, “I’m going to completely overhaul my life by February”. And when life happens and we don’t hit those exact targets, we feel like failures.

Instead, see your year ahead of you as a whole. And, like the family gatherings, reverse engineer it. 

Start by creating a vision for where you want to be at the end of next December. What does that look like? How do you want to feel? Who do you want to be?

Then break that vision into quarterly milestones. Not rigid goals, but intentions that guide you. And here’s the crucial part… don’t put a specific outcome on it. Leave room for the whispers to guide you! Leave space for opportunities you can’t even imagine right now to show up!

I’ve learned that when you hold your vision too tightly, you miss the magic happening just outside your peripheral vision. The universe might be trying to lead you somewhere even better than you planned, but you’re too busy white-knuckling your specific goal to notice.

If you’re like me and you need something to anchor your practice—a place to track your growth, stay consistent, and actually follow through on your intentions—I created a 365-day guided journal designed specifically for this. It includes weekly intentions that change throughout the year, daily affirmations, and morning and evening journaling pages for every single day. This isn’t just a blank notebook, it’s a structured companion for building the kind of intentional life we’ve been talking about.

Sign up for my newsletter to be the first to know when it launches—just in time to gift yourself (or someone you love) the tool for an intentional 2025.

The Gift of Thoughtful Simplicity

Let’s address the stress of gift-giving because this one overwhelms so many people.

In case you need some, here’s your permission: you don’t have to get everyone elaborate, meaningful gifts that perfectly capture your relationship.

If you’re truly stuck, don’t forget there’s always a gift card! Target, Amazon, and Starbucks gift cards are pretty much universally loved. So don’t stress if you’re really stuck or don’t know someone that well, these are always great options. If you know someone well enough, grab them a nice body spray set or something small they actually like. The intent is to find things people will use, not things that end up as clutter.

And if you really want to give something meaningful? Give an experience. Time together at a nice restaurant. Tickets to something they’ve mentioned. The gift of a memory instead of another item that needs to be stored.

Your energy matters so much more than your presents. Show up rested, present, and genuinely happy to see people. That’s worth a million times more than any gift you could ever wrap.

What Really Matters: Intention

This season is about connection. 

Yes, with the people you love, but also with yourself. 

So, don’t let the whispers within you get drowned out by all the noise of obligations and expectations.

As you move through these next few weeks, I want you to ask yourself this one question over and over again… 

What actually brings me joy? 

Not what you think should bring you joy, not what brings everyone else joy. What brings you joy? What lights you up? 

Then protect that. 

Set boundaries around it. Say no to the things that drain you so you can say yes to what fills you up.

The holidays will happen whether you stress about them or not. 

The gifts will get given, the meals will get eaten, and the time will pass. So, the only question is, how do you want to feel while it’s all happening?

And, you get to decide that. Even when it feels like you don’t, you do.

So, listen to those whispers. They know the way. 😊💫

Love, Light, and Gratitude 🩵
– Kathleen

P.S. As a gift for reading the entire blog, I am gifting you my holiday headspace journal for free. Download below… Merry Christmas & Happy Holidays 🎄🫶🎁