The Day I Stopped Drifting: A Divorced Woman’s Guide to Reclaiming Her Life

You know what’s crazy? I see the same pattern over and over again with the women who come to me for coaching. They fall into two main categories, and honestly, it breaks my heart every time because I’ve been there myself.

There’s the woman who’s gone from “Mrs.” to “Miss” and suddenly has no idea who she is anymore. And then there’s what I call “The Drifter” – she’s stuck in this endless cycle of wake up, go to work, come home, watch TV, scroll social media, go to bed, and repeat. 

Both women are looking for the same thing…  

They want to know who they are and what their purpose is.

The thing is, traditional advice just doesn’t cut it. “Follow your passion” sounds great, but what if you don’t even know what brings you joy anymore?

The “Mrs. to Miss” Identity Crisis as a Divorced Woman

I get a lot of clients in my programs because, honestly, it comes from the premise of my own divorce. I felt completely lost afterward. So the women I attract are dealing with loss of identity just as I was. They’ve been in this place in their life where they’ve been a “Mrs.” and now they’re a “Miss,” they’re single, they’re an individual, and they’ve got to figure out life by themselves.

Now this may sound ridiculous to some people, but if you’ve ever been through a divorce, I’m sure you know what I mean. Because you really do get to this place where, as a “Mrs,” you’re always nurturing your spouse and your children, and you kind of get lost. Your own individual wants and needs and the things that bring you joy? They just disappear.

When I bring these women into my programs, it’s literally about helping them define who they are. I’ll ask them: “Give me the top 20 things that bring you joy.” Then we narrow it down. And here’s what’s wild – you get down to where there’s like one or two things out of those 20 things. All those 20 things actually mesh into one or two core themes.

From there, they can start to create their own identity again. And I think that’s so important – to stand up on your own and know who you are. Yeah, it’s nice to have somebody there, and to be honest, I do sometimes miss having a married partner. But I’ve also learned all the things I enjoy for myself now without having to dote on someone else. I found the things that I enjoy in my life, and now that’s what I help other people do too!

Once they figure out their identity, then we can find their purpose. Because they probably lost that somewhere along the way too. They’re no longer just a housewife, if that’s what they aspired to be. So they need to find what their purpose is now. Is it doing charity work? Working in an office space where they have coworkers around them all day? Is it being an entrepreneur and doing it all on their own?

And here’s something important – when I say “all on their own,” I want to be clear that the whole mindset of “you can have it all” (without any help) is such a load of crap. I don’t care how you want to word that, but you can only have it all with a tribe. If you’re a busy entrepreneur, you can’t clean your house and take care of your kids from the minute they get up to the minute they go to bed at night. You have to have childcare. Maybe a part-time house cleaner. Perhaps an assistant. That whole idea that you can have it all by yourself burns women out, plain and simple.

Want to discover your authentic identity? Download my free guide at the bottom of this blog to ‘Stop Drifting and Start Living: The Six Pillar Blueprint to Discovering Your Life’s Purpose’ below to start uncovering who you really are beneath all the roles you play.

The Drifters: When Life Becomes Autopilot

Then there are the Drifters. These are women who come in for confidence because they’re trying to find their voice. They go to their nine-to-five job, they literally punch their card, check in, and do the same thing every day. They get up in the morning, go to work, come home at night, have supper, go to bed. Get up in the morning, go to work. Same thing, right?

They’re drifting. They have no meaning in life. They watch TV, they scroll social media, they just… they don’t know what their purpose is, so they just drift. Some people figure out that they’re drifting and try to find guidance to find their purpose. Some don’t.

The thing about drifters is that they’re not necessarily unhappy – they’re just existing. They’re going through the motions, but there’s no fire, no excitement, no real connection to what they’re doing. They’ve lost touch with what actually matters to them.

And, again be sure to download my free workbook at the bottom of this blog if this is you. It can really help break you out of this drifting state and get back into your life. 

The Science Behind Mindset Transformation for Divorced Women

Now here’s where it gets really interesting from a scientific standpoint. What I work with is the coherence between your mind and your heart working together. It’s about working with your subconscious mind, and there’s actual research backing this up.

When your heart and brain are in coherence – meaning they’re communicating effectively through neural pathways – you make better decisions. Your emotional state directly impacts your ability to think clearly and take aligned action. It’s not just some woo-woo concept; it’s measurable.

The subconscious mind is where all your limiting beliefs live, and those beliefs have created actual neural pathways in your brain. But here’s the cool part – your brain has neuroplasticity, which means you can literally rewire those pathways. When you change your thoughts consistently, you change your brain structure.

One of the biggest things we focus on is what Napoleon Hill called “Definiteness of Purpose.” And there’s a reason this works – when you have crystal clarity on what you want, your brain’s reticular activating system kicks in. It starts filtering information and opportunities that align with your purpose while filtering out distractions.

Real Client Transformations: The Process in Action

I use what I call the “seven layers” technique with my clients. I ask them a question, they answer, and then I ask them a question about that answer. We keep going deeper. And here’s what’s amazing – when they hit their real purpose, when they start talking about what truly matters to them, they get emotional.

And I’m like, “There it is.” Their emotional response is not just feelings – it’s their nervous system recognizing alignment. Because our bodies literally know when we find our truth.

The other method I use is those 20 questions I mentioned earlier. What ends up happening is all 20 things they listed end up being categorized somewhere in the top two themes. And looking at it this way really makes the pattern come clear, helping them to see the thread connecting everything they love.

The Vibration and Consciousness Connection for Women

One of my colleagues uses this amazing metaphor called the “penthouse theory,” and I love it. What you do is picture your consciousness as if it were a building. Maybe you’re stuck down in the basement level, maybe you’re on the ground floor, or a couple floors up. Wherever you are right now, as you work on yourself and get clearer on your purpose, you move up toward the penthouse. 

The higher you go, the higher your vibration gets. And when your vibration is higher, you’re in a better place mentally and emotionally. You absorb better information, you attract better opportunities, you make better decisions. It’s all connected.

This isn’t just positive thinking, there’s real science behind how your emotional state affects what you notice and how you respond to the world around you.

Finding Your Purpose as a Single Woman

Here’s something I want you to understand: everyone gets lost at some point in their life. 

Whether it’s a divorce, kids leaving home, a career change, health issues, or just feeling off, and questioning, “Is this all there is?” – these transition moments are actually normal and necessary.

The problem isn’t getting lost. The problem is staying lost because you think you should be able to figure it out alone, or because you’re embarrassed to admit you don’t know what you want anymore.

Getting lost is often the first step to finding something even better than what you had before! 

But you have to be willing to do the work to find your way back to yourself. And that’s where mindset coaching can help.

Behind the Scenes: Creating Something Special for Women

I just got back from the most incredible weekend. I flew out to meet with this amazing group of women coaches who are part of the Napoleon Hill Institute, and we were putting together something really special.

Friday night we had this meet and greet dinner – just a bunch of us getting to know each other better. Saturday morning, we literally had hair and makeup done, and then we went to this photography location and did professional photos together. The concept was about standing strong together as women. We all wore black, white, cream, and tan – looking uniform but each bringing our own style.

The photo shoot went from 11am to 4pm because there was just so much going on. Then we changed and went to this amazing Greek restaurant for dinner, and afterward we went to the Plaza – you know, from the movie Home Alone – and had drinks in one of their cocktail lounges. It was incredible.

Sunday there was supposed to be this big mastermind about how we’re going to roll out this new program, but I had to catch my flight home. I was so bummed to miss it because they spent two hours with whiteboards and big pieces of paper mapping everything out.

But what we’re creating together is something I’m really excited about.

Introducing The Women’s Collective

The program we’ve been working on is called The Napoleon Hill Institute “Women’s Collective”, and the whole concept is “no woman left behind.” We’re talking about helping everyone from a housewife to the CEO of a company. It’s about creating a safe space – only for women – because there are a lot of women who have had trauma for various reasons in their life.

It’s women helping women, and it’s really going to be based on helping them build their confidence in all areas of their life. The mindset work we do helps them strengthen themselves from the inside out.

Each of us leader coaches has our own specialty knowledge. Mine comes from that whole thought process of the spiritual side – the coherence of the mind and working with your mind and your heart together.

We still use Napoleon Hill’s principles, but we’ve adapted them specifically for women. The program includes lessons on:

1. Definiteness of Purpose – Getting crystal clear on what you actually want
2. Finding Your Why – The deep motivation that will sustain you
3. Conquering the Six Ghosts of Fear – Identifying and overcoming what holds you back
4. Rewriting Your Story – Changing the narrative that’s been running your life
5. Letting Go and Forgiveness – Releasing what no longer serves you
6. Your New Image – Stepping into who you’re becoming
7. Law of Attraction and Faith – Aligning your energy with your goals

Here’s how it works: women can sign up now and get access to our self-confidence camp recordings immediately. The actual live program starts September 6th. It’s a six-week intensive, and if they want to stay in the community afterward, they can continue with a monthly membership.

There’s even a pathway for women who want to become coaches themselves.

What You’ll Walk Away With

If you’ve been waiting for a sign – this is it. You don’t need to be more to start; you just need to say YES. Nothing changes until you do.

When you work with us, you’ll walk away with:

• A crystal-clear identity and renewed confidence
• A mindset rooted in possibility, purpose, and wealth
• Tools to navigate fear, take bold aligned action, and stop self-sabotage
• Connection to a powerful sisterhood of high-level women
• A legacy plan – so you don’t just grow, you multiply

This is your permission slip to step into your next level.

The Women’s Collective isn’t just another program. It’s a community of women who are ready to upgrade their mindset and identity, who are craving clarity, purpose, and aligned action. Women who know they’re meant for more but don’t know the next step.

Women who are tired of fear, hustle, and second-guessing themselves.

If that’s you, we’re here. We’ve got your back, and we’re ready to help you remember who you really are underneath all the roles you’ve been playing.

Because here’s what I know for sure: when women support women, incredible things happen. And when you combine that support with proven science-backed methods for rewiring your brain and aligning your heart with your purpose?

That’s when magic happens.

Love, Light, and Gratitude

– Kathleen

Ready to Discover Your Authentic Identity? 

Download my free ‘Stop Drifting and Start Living: The Six Pillar Blueprint to Discovering Your Life’s Purpose’ and take the first step toward remembering who you really are.